![]() ![]() ![]() While both disorders center on romantic bonds and exist at a relationship’s outset, as well as negatively define the quality of a long-term commitment, the fears and compulsions of ROCD can dovetail and be in stark contrast to those of limerence. Noted psychologist Albert Wakin defines limerence as a combination of OCD and addiction, like living in a state of compulsory longing 4. In ROCD, the goal is to neutralize anxiety-provoking thoughts by repeating compulsive mental acts and behaviors. ![]() A second major difference is that the goal of limerence is achieving emotional reciprocation, so compulsive behaviors are contingent on perceived feedback from the LO. The former is defined by an overwhelming fear of rejection, while the latter may lead to obsessing over not liking a partner enough 5. However, one major difference between limerence and ROCD lies in how the partner is considered. This leads to ruminative and patterns of avoidance thinking (such as distraction as a coping strategy) that are similar to those of OCD. Limerence exists as a constant state of anxiety, which is focused solely upon the perceived reciprocity from the LO. Moreover, there is a remarkable ability to inflate the LO’s admirable qualities, while ignoring and even reconstituting negative traits as strengths 1.Īnd although limerence outwardly can resemble a normal state of being in love, in reality it is an involuntary negative state defined by invasive, obsessive, and compulsive thoughts and behaviors that can often have clinical implications 4-as well as problematic physical manifestations: heart palpitations, sweating, dizziness, and changes in eating and sleeping patterns 5. Indifference is often read as a secret passion, and feelings can intensify after rejection by the LO. The obsessed person becomes overwhelmed by a fear of rejection, their moods dictated by whether their LO has paid attention to them and fixated on how that attention was paid. Often this occurs despite being incapacitated by shyness in the LO’s presence. She coined the term, which refers to an unhealthy obsessive state in which an individual becomes all-consumed with securing or maintaining emotional reciprocation from their object of affection, known as the limerent object, or LO. In her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, psychologist Dorothy Tennov describes limerence. The symptoms of relationship-centered obsessive-compulsive disorder, or ROCD, may also amplify those very normal doubts and fears and lead to relationships crippled by dysfunction and distress 2,3. ![]() Yet even in adulthood, unresolved personal issues can lead one to obsess over a love interest in an emotional state known as limerence 1. This isn’t to say that those wonderful butterflies-in-the-stomach sensations at the start of a new relationship become unattainable, just that they’re now tempered by growth and experience. Do they like me? What do they think of me? Do they even notice me? You take a sudden interest in their likes, the objects they touch become sacred, you have an uncanny knack for spotting their many doppelgängers when you’re out and about.Īdolescence isn’t forever, and those rushes fade, giving way to the complicated highs and lows of real adult relationships, of heartbreak and compromise and sticking it out. It’s a feeling that takes you back to those tender days of adolescence, when life itself seems to revolve around that one special person, when simply laying eyes on them, being anywhere near them is an indescribable rush that makes your palms sweat, your heart race, and brings your mind to a complete halt. ![]()
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